It is estimated that 1 out of every 3 couples struggle with problems associated with low sexual desire. One study found that 20% of married couples have sex less than 10 times a year! Complaints about low desire are the #1 problem brought to sex therapists.
Gottman offers research to support two main reasons and times for divorce:
- 5-7 years due to high conflict
- 10-12 years due to loss of intimacy and connection
A survey of counseling professionals from YourTango.com—the digital leader in love and relationships—offers compelling insights into why marriages fail. The leading cause of divorce? Communication problems, followed by sexual infidelity and “not spending enough time together/not mutually prioritizing the marriage.”
Here, I want to present with a hypothetical situation in which we will be taught “art of intimacy”, “art of love making” and “art of communication” and the result of using these practicals in our life. There was a time in India when these were taught to ruling class people, especially art of love making to women and men both so that they could enjoy it and take pleasure from it. Now this teaching to many is from watching porn or some movies which show it.
The Nyaya Sutras, were taught during 1st and 2nd Century BC, it was documented then, so technically it was taught way long before that. Society was much free then, or had the chance to question and learn right way of doing certain things. But, may be after certain centuries people loved the result of these teaching but forgot to keep the research valid for the present situation. Whatever might be the reason! May be people just got too lazy! Or professions were turned into caste and people became more greedy! I don’t know!
Vedas are supposed to be start knowledge in India. I wont comment whether it is Hindu or something else, we will just call it as Veda-ism. Even then people had the choice to choose, now is not the case. As people who call themselves as Hindu’s don’t even know anything of these 2 original texts which forms the basis of Hinduism. These texts promote ‘questioning’, ‘free way of life’, ‘completion of each and every responsibility’, ‘living life to the fullest’, ‘awareness’, ‘consciousness’ and ‘unconsciousness’.
So in this hypothetical school of mine, if these philosophies are taught relevant to the modern lifestyle, what will I be able to do?
- give pleasure to my partner (irrespective of any sex)
- take responsibility of every action
- ability to think and analyse
- better communication with each kind of relationship , customer-business, B2B, husband-wife, parent child, etc. As maximum of relations are based upon communication and most important “non- judgmental and free communication”
- my personal relations will always be intimate
- and much more!
But, the question here also remains, who will teach? Of course I will need a person who is unbiased, non-castist, non-religious, and has knowledge of these texts in which ever meaning you may take and also who make amendments as per today’s requirement. Do we have such people around? I don’t think so! So, then we need to manufacture some time machine and send some babies to these rsi’s or philosophers, so that they can learn things and come back. And once they come back they learn the current human society and then go back tell it them, make amendments and then come again to modern era and teach it to people. Why babies? Because their mind is not trained for any -ism like Hinduism, Chritianism, etc. They will rather learn Veda-ism and Nyaya Sutra’s and much more which is not present in the textual form and then once they come back they can document those in languages we understand.
Current situation is that, we are taught not to question, not to discuss, not to communicate and always live in fear of some or the other thing. And we are left to self learn these art through experience or some books like Kamasutra for love making, and Edward De Bono for thinking and Joseph Murphy for conscious effort to improve life! Take any meaning from what you read, as we don’t even learn language that properly!
Our schools are just not even equipped to teach what is there in curriculum. Forget these things!
But, what if “Sex/Intimacy/communication” practicals were included in curriculum? Wouldn’t we be much happier in our personal lives? Which would effectively help even making the society a happy place! At the end of the day, everyone, and I mean everyone, just wants to be happy!